Have you lunched in a food court lately? If not, urine for a big surprise!

I was having lunch with a good friend of mine several weeks ago in a food court when she says “Oh my God, look behind you, I think there’s a pee cup waving at us.” A what? A pee cup? What the hell is she talking about? At first I think she’s just saying something so ridiculous to get me to look away so that she can grab some of my lunch, or maybe spit in it (we’ve been friends a long time), so I just give her the “okay, have you just had a minor stroke or is this just the menopause talking” look and keep on shoveling my taco salad into my mouth. But she continues to gaze over my shoulder with a bewildered look. Within a few seconds that look turns to incredulous, and so now I have to look, even knowing that doing so could result in spit in my salad, or bits of brain if she indeed just had a stroke and her head exploded.

As I slowly turn my head toward the direction of the object of what now appears to be producing terror in my friends eyes, I see it. There, about 20 feet from me, working their way through the aisle of lunch time food grazers and gossips, is a 6 foot tall mascot type creature dressed like a lab tech, followed closely behind by an equally tall, walking, and waving, pee cup. You know, the cup the doctor gives you to pee in so they can test you for all kinds of hideous diseases? Or, the cup you get from the cops to verify that you were indeed intoxicated or high when they pulled you over for swerving all over the road and you claimed that you just took too much Sudafed? “Oh, and by the way officer, the Sudafed makes my breath smell like MGD - Light but seriously, I haven’t had a drop. Really, man, you can trust me.”

A pee cup! A walking, and yes, waving, pee cup who’s coming right up to our table as if to greet me like some long lost friend! As if I would want to shake hands with a pee cup! I kid you not, it had a lid on the top and a bunch of yellow color all around the bottom two-thirds of the round costume that was painted to look like swirling pee! Well, fortunately, it sloshed past our table and continued on its way through the skyway. We were left to only guess as to its purpose and what it could possibly be advertising. Neither of us could come up with any plausible explanation other than it was for some new diet because seeing it immediately caused you to loose your appetite.

Well, when I got back to my desk I e-mailed my daughter to describe this insane close encounter of the urine kind, and she responds “Oh yeah, that’s Petey P. Cup.” The thing actually has a name? Or am I the one who had a stroke and I’m now laying in a hospital bed somewhere in a coma? Seems her friend who’s a nurse told her about it, and in fact had received a toy replica of it. No way, says I, this is just too far out there even for the likes of someone like Jim Hensen who made millions out of a waded up ball of lime green yarn that he threw in a garbage can.

Well, it’s all true. And not only is there a 6 foot mascot, you can also buy the toy! Here’s the proof:

Petey P. Cup

Hi, I'm Petey P. Cup, official spokescup and mascot for healthpartners.com. Let me tell you a bit about myself:
· I was born in Bloomington, Minnesota on April 8, 2008
· Pokey the Syringe is a good friend of mine - he's a sharp (er, rather smart) guy!
· I enjoy helping with lab tests (urinalysis, drug testing, etc.) and attending various HealthPartners events
· When I'm not feeling the need to go, I enjoy just chilling at the clinic or watching TV shows such as Grey's Anatomy and ER

And here's his buddy Pokey the Syringe:

Hi, I'm Pokey the Syringe, Petey's sidekick syringe and mascot for healthpartners.com. Here is a sample of quick pricks about me:
· I was born in Bloomington, Minnesota on May 27, 2008
· Petey the Pee Cup has contracted me as his syringe specialist to help promote online patient services at healthpartners.com
· I stay busy these days giving immunizations, drawing samples, attending various HealthPartners events and more
· In my free time outside of the doc's office I like to watch TV shows such as House and American Idol, go see live stand up comics (poking fun at people is great!) and I love to run - when Petey and I go out for a run he always jokes that he's not running with scissors, but he is running with a syringe

OMG! Just what every 5 year old wants to snuggle up with before they go to bed. The world had gone insane. I take back what I said in a previous blog regarding 2012 – the world really is coming to end!

Some pee and a prick – sounds like a really bad porn movie. Lord help us!