Monday, June 20, 2011

The Devil is Alive and Well, and Living in My Bathroom Closet

A friend of mine and I were recently sharing our dieting horror stories, and I told her that I think the Devil has infiltrated my mind and body somehow, causing dieting mayhem to prove how easily I can be persuaded to veer off the course I know is right and fall right back into my old habits. I also told her that I had come to the conclusion that my scale must be broken as it continues to say I weigh much more than I’m certain I really do. She disagreed and said that her scale wasn’t broken, it just hated her and took great joy in making her miserable each morning. The scale hates her? Hmmm, I hadn't thought of that. Perhaps the devil hasn't infiltrated my mind and body, but just my scale! How brilliant and dastardly! Yep, the two adjectives that best describe Satan - not to mention he's a huge liar. I think she stumbled upon the answer - our scales are possessed by the devil who is continuously lying about our actual weight which causes us to stress out, give up, cave in, and binge. And more proof that my scale is possessed is the fact that every time I step on it, I feel like barfing green goo everywhere! Well, that's a relief - I don't have to throw out my scale or get a new one, I just need to find a holy man who's willing to perform an exorcism on it!