Chapter 1

Joanna sat perfectly still in her seat as he approached the podium. Could it really be him? she wondered to herself. It had been almost three years since she had last seen him but the scar he had left on her heart was still raw and blistering. She focused her attention on him as he began to speak. His voice still had a way of causing her heart to beat a little faster. She could feel that yearning starting to invade her body. She pulled herself upright in her chair and sat perfectly erect in an attempt to erase those thoughts of how he had once affected her. How he had destroyed her dreams. How foolish she had been. As she straightened out her skirt her eyes were drawn to the charm bracelet she wore on her wrist and to the gold orchid charm that still hung there. “I should have gotten rid of that years ago,” she scolded herself, and promised to toss it out as soon as the seminar was over. If she lived through it, she thought feeling the panic rising in her throat. He’d given her that bracelet on their last night together. He said he had picked out the charm because it reminded him of her, “wild, unique and a rare find.”

Three years ago she was assigned to do a layout for Pacific Cruise Lines. It had been the first cruise she’d ever been on. She was only 23 but an aspiring and promising photo journalist. Upon boarding the ship, her camera was immediately drawn to the tall, rugged looking man standing on the bridge. Sexy. Whew! She didn’t know a thing about him, had never seen him before in her life, but sexy was the word that popped into her head. At the same moment, he turned and stared directly back at her. She was happy she had the camera to use as a mask to hide her very revealing face.

Almost before the ship left the harbor he was standing beside her and introducing himself as if he had every right to her attention. Brandon Cole. He’d said it with such authority and sensuality that she just stood there gaping at him trying to remember how to breathe. There was a feeling of electricity passing between them the moment they met. It was so strong that it took all her power to stop herself from ripping her clothes off and demanding he carry her off to bed. Little did she know at that moment, he was having the exact same thoughts only he wasn’t trying to fight them at all.

They were inseparable for the rest of the cruise. They swam, ate, drank, danced and talked the days and nights away. They went ashore to all the ports of call. Spent days window shopping, trying new foods and visiting all the places of interest. Brandon seemed to know a little bit about everything. He was fascinating and she was captivated. They spent the evenings in each others arms. His kisses drugged her with an overwhelming yearning. No man had ever aroused her like Brandon. As his lovemaking increased, so did Joanna’s response and their last night together she gave up the fight and carried out that thought she’d had at their meeting and willing went to his bed.

She’d never been totally intimate with a man before, though she’d had her share of boyfriends. She’d just never been interested enough in any of them to let things go that far. She had imagined what making love would be like hundreds of times, but nothing in all her imaginings compared to the real thing. He was tender, but commanding, soft but passionate, slow but exhilarating all at the same time. God, he was good! He explored and tasted every inch of her body and she, his. She was terribly inexperienced, but she was a quick learner and his apparent desire infused her with the power that she would someday be able to match his passion and satisfy him as he did her. At that moment as she lay there in his arms being exquisitely ravaged, she actually believed there were going to be many somedays for them to spend like this. She told him that she loved him.

God, she told him that she loved him! Even now, the memory brought the stain of embarrassment to her cheeks. He never responded in kind but crushed her lips with his and carried her off once again to that secret world of wanton abandonment that only lovers understand. The next morning they would be returning home and back to their real lives. They had made no promises, no commitment. What transpired between them in those 3 weeks just sort of engulfed them and they allowed themselves to be swept along with it. But Joanna knew that she loved this man, as well as she knew her own name. She wanted to spend many more days and nights with him. She knew even though it had only been 20 days since they had met that was all the time she needed to know that he was meant for her, and she for him. Unfortunately, it soon became apparent that she was standing alone in her conviction.

The next morning she had awoken early, and returned to her room to get a gift she’d picked up for Brandon to remind him of their trip together. It was a hand carved gold frame with a picture of them both that the Captain had taken while they were dancing. There they were, wrapped in each others arms, her staring up at him and he down at her, both appearing madly in love with the other to any onlooker. The ship had docked and passengers were unboarding. She hurried back to Brandon’s cabin, tapped on the door and without waiting for an answer she stepped inside. She was surprised to find a tall, slender, silvery-blonde woman with striking blue eyes sitting on the edge of the bed where Brandon should be, she remembered bitterly. “How do you do?” asked the stranger. “I’m Mrs. Cole. Can I help you?”

Joanna was so shocked that all she could do was stand there and stare blankly back at the woman. Mrs. Cole? Brandon was married? She felt physically sick as the reality of the situation engulfed her. No wonder there were no words of love, promises or commitment. She dropped the picture on the floor and ran out of the room before Mrs. Cole, Brandon’s wife, could say another word. She didn’t stop to let herself think as she grabbed her bags and fled the ship. She returned home immediately, sobbed for a week about how foolish she’d been and then threw herself into her work vowing to never give Mr. Cole another thought, another moment of her precious life. She received a letter from Bandon a week later stating that he was flying in to see her, that he had to talk to her. She sent back a reply that merely said “We promised nothing. It meant nothing. Won’t have time to see you. Have a good life.” She thought that would be the end of it. Well, it was the end of their relationship. She never heard from him again. But it wasn’t the end of her tie to Brandon completely. Fate stepped in once again and changed the course of her life, this time forever, by giving her a child – Brandon’s child.

The clapping of the audience brought Joanna back to the present with a jolt. Brandon was stepping down from the podium, his eyes searing at her from across the auditorium. Oh no, he’d seen her! She was hoping to slip away quickly without ever having to face him. She tried to elusively make her way out a side door but just as she rounded the corner she felt a hand wrap around her arm and tug her back inside the room. She looked up and was confronted with Brandon’s icy gaze. His eyes roamed slowly over her, resting on her heaving chest. Joanna saw a sudden blaze of desire fill his eyes but it was instantly removed and replaced by what she could best describe as contempt. “Well, well, Joanna. You were the last person I expected to run into – here, or anywhere else for that matter. Were you trying to run out on me again?” Joanna, gaining some control over her chaotic emotions, replied as coolly as she could, “I’m here on a job, Mr. Cole, and if I’d known that you would be here, I certainly wouldn’t have bothered to come.”

Brandon looked frostily at her, as if he were holding back the urge to smack her. But instead of the biting remark that she expected from him, he asked quietly, “Do you have plans for lunch?” Joanna was taken aback. She searched vainly for an answer but her mind was blank. He took her hesitation for a negative response, that she did not have any plans for lunch and said, “Good, let’s go into the dining room then, shall we?” Before she knew what was happening, she was being shepherded into the resort dining room and seated at a table. Joanna watched Brandon’s face closely trying to figure out what thoughts were crossing his mind, but his eyes were like cold grey stones giving nothing away. She couldn’t believe this cold, hard man had once been a soft, yielding lover. She blinked her eyes quickly, turning off the memories that were invading her mind.

“So tell me, Miss Wells, what have you been doing with yourself these past 3 years?” Brandon asked casually although his tone gave away his true underlying feelings of bridled anger. Joanna snapped out of her thought coma and responded crossly “It’s none of your business what I’ve been doing, Mr. Cole. I don’t care discuss it and in fact, I don’t even want to have lunch with you. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m leaving!”

“Well, I see you’ve acquired some manners. At least this time you’re excusing yourself before running way.” retorted Brandon. “Of course, I suppose if someone means nothing to you, then there really isn’t any need for manners, is there?”

“Brandon, what on earth are you talking about?”

“We promised nothing. It meant nothing.” He threw her words back at her.

“That’s the way you wanted it too, if I remember right. You made no promises, no commitment, no declaration of love. And thank God you didn’t! If I’d known what kind of man you really were, I would have ran away from you as fast as I could the moment I laid eyes on you!” She spewed her words out hoping they would slap that look of contempt off his face.

“And just what kind of man is it you think that I am?” he asked tersely.

“You’re a user and a cheat. You’re despicable. You use women to satisfy your needs knowing full well that you have no intention on staying. I loathe you, you used me, took advantage of my inexperience and guillibility. I was obviously just another shipboard fling, another feather in your cap. What do you do, prowl the seas, looking for virgins to conquer to quell your ego?”

“Let me tell you something, Miss High and Mighty, I far from took advantage of you or used you considering how little coaxing it took to get you into my arms and into my bed. And as for your inexperience and guillibility? Honey, from what I remember, you’d make a porn star blush, so don’t give me that you-stole-my-innocence crap. You were a willing participant, and a very enthusiastic one if my memory serves me correctly.”

Joanna was so angry, she could hardly breathe, let alone say anything. So she threw back her chair and marched out of the dining room without another word. She slammed the cabin door so hard that a picture fell off the wall. Carolyn, Joanna’s sister, came scurrying from the bedroom at the sound of the picture glass shattering. “Joanna, for God’s sake, what’s wrong?!” she asked quickly noticing the look of shear rage on Joanna’s face. “You won’t believe it in a million years! The nerve of the man! Who the hell does he think he is? He practically called me a whore to my face, and implied I was some kind of nymphomaniac! And the whole time, it’s he who is the sleep around, the cheat, the nympho!” Joanna screamed into the room.

“Who? Who is he? Who are you talking about?” Carolyn asked wide eyed.

“Brandon. Brandon Cole! He’s here, at the resort. He’s a speaker at the seminar.”

“He’s here?” Carolyn asked incredulously. “Did you tell him about Ryan?”

“Ryan?” Are you kidding? I will never tell him about Ryan. After the way he treated me, I wouldn’t even want to admit that he’s any relation to Ryan!” Joanna returned with vengeance in her voice.